Life in the Middle

A Select Arrow

2011-06-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

There are those times in life where God gives us numerous options and He wants us to choose one and serve Him to the fullest. Then there are times when you know for a fact God has orchestrated the exact direction and there is no questioning it. I would try to make the long story short but I do not want to miss one piece of this journey.

From the time I was 4, I was teaching my baby dolls and stuffed animals. I would drive the school bus (Mom says I was pretty good about slamming on the brakes and getting on to the kiddos for misbehaving), read them books, grade their papers and basically teach them everything I know. This became even more fun when Kathryn was born and I was able to drag around an actual student. Kathryn, you can thank me later for all the things I have imparted to you!

During my time in my education courses, I was the biggest nerd there. I think I stalked the school supply area at Target, always purchasing the latest design of highlighters and post-it notes. I loved every bit of the information, minus one class but that is a whole different story!

Upon graduation, I accepted a position at Caldwell Elementary teaching 2nd grade and spent gobs of time and money (thanks Mom & Dad!) on my classroom. I was in love. Standing with my kiddos in the hallway, I was amazed that God had entrusted these little lives to me. Mistakes were made, lessons were learned, tears were cried, paperwork was hated, but I knew I was created to do this.

You can imagine everyone's surprise when I knew God was leading me from the classroom into an opportunity at my church. In July of 2006, we packed my classroom unsure of when/ if I would ever open these boxes again.

I would need to write a book to share all that took place from July 2006 to May 2011, so I will settle for bullet points.

Mentors, old and young, taught me about ministry, service, life, studying God's Word, missions, and so much more.

Teaching and leading Bible studies became one of my passions.

Attended Womenary (http://www.womenary.com/) classes that expanded my knowledge of God's Word and deepened my desire to study.

I lead teams or joined teams to: Guatemala (twice), Belize, Israel, Egypt (technichally 4 times), and places across the states.

I interned for a sports ministry for the summer of 2009 in Egypt and before I finished my time, left from Cairo to South Africa for 3 months.

Attended the African Leadership Institute for Community Transformation (http://www.alict.org/)- 3 intense months, 27 students from 24 countries, Leaders & Teachers from around the world, ALICT experiences, classes from 8-5, Worship in a way I have never worshiped, Maddie Kate was born and in ICU back in Texas, so much more...

I began to learn much about the way God has created me and why He has created me.

The desire to teach began to resurface (even though for four years I said it would NEVER happen).

Returned home to Texas in November of 2009, the week of Thanksgiving, to a loving family and beautiful 2 month niece- Madelyn Kate, 1 year old niece- Allison Paige, and 5 year old, sweet Emily Claire.

November of 2009- November of 2010, represent a time of questioning, a time of discovering why God had placed each thing in my path, knowing my time in Egypt and South Africa would largely impact my journey ahead, feeling the weight of responsibility that such experiences carry, and knowing it was time to move from staff at the church to smack dab in the middle of the community.

Grandma McAfee- if you know me, you know about Grandma. My 6 months with her hold sweet memories, personal challenges, new friends, and a time of learning.

In May of this year, I drove away from Grandma knowing it was time to teach, time to serve, time to move in the direction He was pointing.

Let's get a few things straight: Now is not the time to think of joining the education force. School districts across Texas and the nation are letting teachers go and scaling back in large amounts. Job fairs were cancelled. No jobs are posted online. So, I knew God had to pave the path. I knew the job that I would get would be the one where He wanted me.

Now, the question was where. Where to apply. Where to live. Where to be. The answer: Houston. Like my return to teaching, Houston was never top on my list. However, as God has softened my heart to the idea, He has shown me why Houston:

Diveristy- I crave cultural diversity. I know I have much to learn from other cultures and since I knew God was saying the States, I knew it had to be in a place of great diversity.

Egyptians- I have some pretty awesome Egyptian friends here that live for Jesus and desire to serve Him with all they have.

3 1/2 hours from Tyler. I love being close enough for visits with my nieces!

Inner city- this is where I want to teach.

Ministry opportunities are rampant!

2 weeks ago, a friend invited me to come serve at an International Soccer (Football) Tourney, http://www.nationssport.org/. I had no idea what this day would have in store for me. I arrived early and decided just to hang out and help as needed. During the opening ceremony, Alex introduced me to Rohan. The really cool part: Rohan and his wife, Sharon attended ALICT in 2006. Alex had no idea he was going to be there. We started talking and Rohan asked, so what are you doing now?

I always laugh at this question. It's hard to answer. So, I shared my heart. I moved here with the desire to work in an innercity school, in an area where there is a high drop out rate, and I want to serve the community around it. I know it will be hard, but I know it is what I am called to do.

The next few minutes seemed unreal, but often that is how God works. He wants the glory. He wants nothing of it to be given to us. Rohan knew of a school that was attempting to do just this. It would be their first year and they were deep in the hiring process. He wanted my resume that night to forward to the right people. I made some calls to a dear friend in Tyler, edited my resume, and emailed it at 12:30 am, Sunday morning. The following week was a whirlwind: phone call on Sunday, interview Monday, lots of waiting and praying, and a phone call on Friday with an official job offer.

I will be teaching at the Arrow Academy (Bethel Campus)- http://www.arrowacademy.com/. In reading the website, I knew this is exactly where God was pointing me. I did not just want to work with any school in any area. I want to use the leadership training, character development, cultural studies and all that God has allowed me to experience to bring about transformation. I know the journey will be tough. I know it will involve long hours, lots of tears, intense prayers, heart aches, and so much more but I know it will involve blessings as I live out the life God intended for me. I know it will hold a journey that only God can guide.

Listen to me, O islands, And pay attention, you peoples from afar. The Lord called Me from the womb; from the body of My mother He named Me. He has made My mouth like a sharp sword, In the shadow of His hand He has concealed Me; And He has also made Me a select arrow. He has hidden Me in His quiver. He said to me, "You are My Servant, Israel, in Whom I will show My glory." But I said, "I have toiled in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity; Yet surely the justice due to Me is with the Lord, And My reward with My God." Isaiah 49:1-5

I wanted...

2011-03-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

About a month and a half ago, I had made the decision to return to Egypt this summer with a team. The minute I said yes, my heart was heavy. There are very few times when I know the answer is "Yes." However, if the answer is "No," I know it. I knew this feeling. I knew I had said "yes" before really seeking God's face and His will.

I wrestled and struggled with the decision for quite some time. I spent time in prayer and reading Scripture. I talked through things with people that know and love Egypt. I discussed things with my Dad. I knew the answer I had to give and my heart was heavy.

You see, I desperately want to be there. I want to spend time with my friends that I really consider family. I wanted to sit in the prayer service and listen to the cries of their hearts in Arabic. I wanted to know how they were really doing in the midst of all that is happening in their country. I wanted to see their faces, to laugh with them to cry with them.

The common theme is: I wanted.

Knowing what I needed to do, I made the phone call I had dreaded for so long and told the church that I could not go and could not lead a team. (This was about 2 weeks ago.)

For the last three nights, my dreams have been filled with time in Egypt. I dreamed that I had lead a team and everything went well. I dreamed of time with the people I love so much. I dreamed of sharing a culture close to my heart with team members. I woke up this morning so confused. Why was He leading me not to go? How could this be the way He wants me to go?

Then I sat down to this:

The first verse I read this morning was Jeremiah 10:23: I know, O Lord, that a man's way is not in himself, Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps.

The cross references lead to me Proverbs 16:1: The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. and Proverbs 20:24- Man's steps are ordained by the Lord, How then can man understand His way?

As I read these verses over and over (and over) again, I was reminded that I will not always (or ever) understand why God is leading me in a certain direction. I may not like the direction or want to follow but I must trust that His direction of my steps is better than any direction I could choose.

You see, it is about more than I wanted; it is about Him.

And I will lead where He follows.

18 days and counting...

2011-02-13T06:52:00.000-08:00

Over the last two weeks I have started many blogs. Words have been typed and the deleted. Thoughts have bounced around my head. What to say... how to say it... where do I begin... what am I even supposed to be thinking? So many questions and zero answers.

18 days.

18 days of watching, waiting and praying.

18 days of wondering what will happen with Mubarak.

18 days of wondering what I am supposed to want for Egypt.

18 days of wondering what I am even supposed to pray.

18 days of crying out to God and trusting that the Holy Spirit groans in prayer for me.

18 days and counting...

The wondering does not end now and the prayer must become more fervent. Yes, there is celebration. Yes, the people have won. But what now? So many uncertainties, so many questions, so many fears. But ONE GOD in control and because of this, we rest in Him.

The journey has just begun. Transformation must take place. Hearts must be changed. Lives radically different. When the hype wears down, the people must continue and being farther away than my heart desires, I must continue to watch, wait and pray.

New Meaning

2011-01-31T20:41:00.000-08:00

The Psalms have always been a place of comfort, a place of prayer, a favorite piece of Scripture that I would turn to at different times of life. However, as I read through the Psalms and pray them for my dear, dear friends in Egypt they have new meaning.

The words of David crying out to God as he was in danger hold new meaning after talking to a friend as he stood on the streets holding a bar and a knife to protect his family and home from the thieves and criminals.

The promise of protection and deliverance bring a new depth after praying them with a sweet friend over the phone as she and the other women in her family sit in the apartment, waiting and praying.

I invite you to pray with me. Pray Psalm 34 for the people of Egypt as they embark on a very important day.

Psalm 34 (NASB)

(A Psalm of David when he feigned madness before Abimelech, who drove him away and he departed. )

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; The humble shall hear it and rejoice.
O magnify the Lord with me; And let us exalt His name together.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him and rescues them.

O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
O fear the Lord, you His saints; For to those who fear Him there is no want.
The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing.
Come, you children, listen to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Who is the man who desires life and loves the length of days that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry.
The face of the Lord is against evildoers, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones, not one of them is broken.
Evil shall slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.

As they stand in the trenches, we stand with them: united in Christ and praying His word.

Interceding

2011-01-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weaknesses; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27 (NASB)

If you have turned on your television to the news or spent time on the internet, you are aware of what is happening in Egypt. In a matter of days, protestors have taken over the streets and a once quiet Cairo has become a picture of unrest.

A few years ago, this would have been a distant news story. One that I may have watched off and on throughout the days. One that takes place in the land of the pyramids. One that was far from home and far from my heart.

However, after spending a few months in Egypt in the summer of 2009 and travelling there other times, this story is heavy on my heart. The streets being shown in the news are streets that I walked to work every day. These are not just thousands of people in the streets. These are the shopkeepers that sold me water, the taxi drivers that took me home, the guards that protected our building. These people are the men and women I walked past each day.

The ones protecting their homes are my friends, my brothers in Christ. The women in the homes are my sisters that I have laughed and cried with. Egypt is no longer a foreign country, a foreign news story, it is home. Their families have invited me into their homes and treated me as family. Egypt is no longer a foreign country, a foreign news story, it is home.

In a time when I have no idea what I should be praying, I rest in this verse. The Holy Spirit intercedes and groans on my behalf. For my brothers on the street that do not know what to pray, the Holy Spirit intercedes. For the women that sit in their homes, the Holy Spirit intercedes.

You may be experiencing something in your life and you do not know how to even begin praying. Rest in knowing the Holy Spirit intercedes for you.

Praying for Egypt

2011-01-30T07:04:00.001-08:00

My heart aches for the situation in Egypt. I walked those streets everyday to go to work at the Sports Team office. With no way to contact anyone, all I know to do is pray.

Pray for my friends. Pray for their families. Pray for the people. Pray for the country. Pray for God's glory to be revealed. Pray for His presence. Pray for His peace. Pray for His comfort. Pray for His will.

These are just a few of my sweet Egyptian friends. Friends that I have cried with, laughed with and more importantly, friends that drew me closer to Christ. I ask that you join me in praying. When we do not know the words to pray, the Holy Spirit cries out!

Community

2011-01-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

I am not sure I have ever truly realized and appreciated the depth and importance of community until now. It is often said that you do not realize what you are missing until it is gone. So true!

November 17, 2010 I packed my car and began a new chapter, a new journey. A journey that I knew God was calling me to but did not know what it would hold (not that I ever do). A journey that has proved to cut to the core of who I am as a person. A journey that would reveal things about my character and my life that I would just prefer never know and prefer no one else see and experience. A journey full of tears. A journey full of learning. A journey full of realizing I am nothing without HIM.

This journey is like no other, because it is one where I have found myself completely removed from the community I have known and loved for so many years. A community that has grown together. A community that is full of mistakes, yet full of learning. A community that was not perfect, but was real.

You see, our hearts are created for community. Community with our triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The depths of our soul rejoice when we experience community with other believers. But, we are not given the right to community. I am currently reading Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and being challenged by every word, every thought.

Community is a privilege, not a right. I am privileged to live in a country where gathering as a community of believers is safe. We can join in a building, publicizing when we will be there and even streaming it live on the internet, if we so desire. But, this is a privilege not a right.

Yes, I miss my community. Yes, I crave time sitting across from my friends and family. Yes, I desire that community here in OKC. But, in the midst of feeling isolated and so alone, I am grateful that I have community, community with Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Crazy Cousins!

2011-01-24T14:23:00.000-08:00

I was so blessed to have a weekend at home this past weekend to celebrate a dear friend's wedding. My first stop: hanging out with my three beautiful, fun-loving, crazy nieces. Here are some shots from the evening!

Starving

2011-01-17T10:32:00.001-08:00

Recently Grandma & I began reading through Paul: 90 Days on His Journey of Faith by Beth Moore. My first month here was a struggle. A struggle being away from my immediate family. A struggle being so isolated from the world outside. A struggle to call and talk to people. A struggle to remain positive. All of this came from my struggle to read Scripture.

I have no good explanation. I simply could not open my Bible, could not write in my journal and could not talk to people that would recognize I was not spending time with my Savior each day. I knew Grandma would love to have me read to her but selfishly, I simply could not bring myself to do it.

I was starving for His Word, starving for His power, starving for HIM.

Time with my sister just after Christmas was refreshing and encouraging. She was a major support as I cried tears of frustration and tears of exhaustion. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed community.

Do not misread this... I do love my time with my Grandma and will forever cherish our times of riding around town (just to get out of the house), sitting together in church, enjoying meals together and so much more. But, it has been an adjustment.

After Kathryn returned home, I knew that I had to make changes. There will always be things outside of my control, but it was time I changed what I could change and move forward from there. A friend kept asking what I was reading and I had no answer. Deep within my heart, I wanted to approach His word, but was holding back.

Then during a conversation with Aunt Nancy, she asked how things were going and if Granny and I were reading devotions together. All I could say, No. (Thank you Aunt Nancy for asking.)

We hung up the phone and I was sick of avoiding the thing that I missed so much. I opened Beth Moore's book, grabbed my Bible and sat down with Grandma. We read the suggested Scripture, thought about the questions and read through the thoughts of that day. Immediately, I felt refreshed, filled, no longer starving.

We have continued reading, continued sharing, and because of this, have enjoyed conversations I would have never shared with this woman that has impacted my life so much. One of the questions the other day was about who had impacted your life. She asked who I would say and with a heart full of joy, I was able to share how much her faith has impacted me over the years.

I know God will richly bless our time with Him, our time together as we continue to approach His Word with humble hearts.

Richly Blessed

2011-01-16T16:40:00.001-08:00

One thing I have always known and cherished, is Grandma's love for spending time with her church ladies. During my time here with her, many of the ladies called or sent cards. Every one of them talks about how much they adore my grandma... and she adores them.

Each month, she joins with a group of ladies for her Circle Group. They have a time of prayer, devotion and teaching. This Saturday was a great day for Grandma. We laughed and talked before we joined her friends at Ruby's house. On the way there, we shared stories and talked about things we wanted to do.

Ruby, a precious woman that loves Grandma, had set the table with her fine dinner china. Each lady brought a dish... we brought cookies. There is something so special about sharing a meal together. Jesus modeled gathering together around the table with the disciples during His time on earth. Time around the table lends itself to sharing stories, discussing the latest news and sharing what God is doing.

I sat at a small table to the side with a couple of ladies and enjoyed watching from a distance. My time around a dinner table with friends and family is time that I treasure. I pray that I will never stop gathering with those I love around the table.

After the meal, Majorie shared a lesson from the book of Revelation. Her love for Scripture overflowed to those around her. I love this pic of Grandma listening intently.

This is a painting that Marjorie just painted in a paint class. She talked about Jesus knocking at the door of our hearts, waiting to be invited in.

Win and her daughter, Robin. Robin and I have become friends overnight. I had the privilege of making a scrapbook for Win for her 90th birthday. We have also enjoyed talking about travels around the world. I laughed as we sat to the side. It was like being at the kid's table again for a holiday meal.

Grandma and Marjorie... lovely ladies. My prayer is that I always cling to learning Scripture and studying with other women, just as they have.

I am richly blessed.

N.O.A.H.

2011-01-16T16:06:00.000-08:00

Not Old At Heart.

The NOAH group at Grandma's church has a gathering once a month. This has always been something Grandma has dearly loved and we were looking forward to joining them as soon as she was feeling better.

This past Thursday the group visited the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum. I have never been but have always seen the sign as we drove into OKC from Texas. I was very excited for many reasons:

1. It had been freezing at the beginning of the week and Granny and I were going stir crazy.
2. She has always loved this group and I knew it would be wonderful for her to be surrounded by friends.
3. Cheat meal!!! We get one cheat meal a week where we do not have to be strict on sodium and we were going to be eating at the cafe in the museum.

So, Thursday morning we rushed around (well... for us it was rushing!) in order to meet the group at the church by ten. There were about 12 of us.

The day was wonderful and we only saw a small portion of the exhibits. In one area there is a town. We joked about taking a series of pics: First, Granny in salloon. Second, Granny in drunk tank. Third, Granny in church. She laughed and thought it was a great idea. However, the lighting was pretty bad. Maybe if we go when Kathryn is here we will use her photog skills to get some pics.

Here are some shots from the day. Our tour guide was 92 years young! The NOAH crew loved having him show them around. He made jokes about not being able to see some of the things in the paintings. We all laughed.

Granny and I are looking forward to the next NOAH outing... until then, we are planning some fun times out!

Home sweet Home

2010-12-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

... at Don Juan's.

Don Juan's (the Original) is by far my favorite place to eat. Not only is the food amazing but I love the staff. We have become friends over the years... I mean, I did eat there 3 times a week (or more) when I was in Tyler. So, there was no question about where to eat for lunch on the 23rd.

We called a few friends and gathered for a wonderful lunch. It was great to see Angel, Debbie, Angie and everyone else. AND it was great to have the queso, oh the queso, hot sauce and some yummy food.

Kristina and I have been friends for 8 years and I cherish her friendship and the laughter we share when we are hanging out. She welcomed me into her life as a young woman who loved Jesus but had no idea how to walk with Him. Thank you for years of encouragement, learning together and friendship. I love you!
Kathryn (my sis) and Ashleigh (pretty much our adopted sister)...

Aunt Rachel and Maddie Kate. I miss this little girl but will get to spend a week with them very soon!!!!

The precious couple (they became official on facebook after they had matching converse :). I absolutely love them. Ashleigh and I met 3 or 4 years ago. It has been a blessing to watch God work in her life and draw her near to Him. I had the privilege of serving with Kendall in Egypt this past summer and in Galveston the spring break before. His desire is to serve God with all that He is. Thanks you two for coming to lunch. I love you both!

I know Kristina might kill me for posting this but we were attempting to get a pic of Maddie and Kristina. Maddie had other plans. She wanted to see her daddy who was on the other side of Kristina.

I am so glad this little girl likes Don Juan's.

Me and Ash with Maddie. Such fun times.

I am not sure how Luke (my brother-in-law) escaped the camera but he did. He was there. Trust me. Without him, we would have missed a lot of laughter as Kathryn described his obsession, I mean preference, for ZooPal plastic forks and spoons. We laughed. A lot. Thanks Luke for being such a good sport.

Until my next trip to Tyler... I will just have to dream about the food there and settle for Ted's here in OKC.

Lights, Camera... and Granny

2010-12-20T20:26:00.000-08:00

Granny and I love lights. Luckily, OKC has some great places to look at them. So, we grabbed Chick-Fil-A for dinner and drove around town. Here are some snapshots from our evening.

Introducing the Smurfs' house:

I have never seen so many blue lights. I am thankful we do not live next door to them. I am not sure anyone would sleep.

And Barbie's house:

Emily & Allison would love for my brother to decorate their house in pink lights. Maybe I should show them this picture and let the begging begin.

The next two were a couple of my favorites. I am a fan of the simple white lights and I love the wreaths on the windows.

Merry Christmas!

A Christmas Surprise

2010-12-20T20:11:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying I have no idea how I did not capture one memory on my camera from this weekend. :( I am counting on my sister having some to share.

Thursday morning my mom and sister drove up to OKC for the weekend festivities: Beth's graduation and my cousin, Matt's wedding. I received a text at 4:30 A.M. that said they were leaving Whitehouse. This would typically mean they would arrive around 10:30 A.M. But in true Bitter women tradition, their road trip took a little longer due to about 15, or maybe it was just 6, stops along the way. Every time I called, they were laughing hysterically. I must admit I was a little jealous. However, I knew they would soon be here. There are few times that Mom, Kathryn and I are together without laughing uncontrollably... about nothing at all.

Around noon they were finally here! It was so great just to hang out and chat. We helped my aunt prepare goodies for the rehearsal dinner guests and then Kathryn and I were on our way. We had no agenda... other than Target. We spent the evening shopping, eating some amazing fajitas and talking.

Around 9:45 or so we were leaving the mall to return to Target. My mom, who graciouslly stayed with Granny and gave us no time limit, called in a request for a double dip hot fudge sundae from Braum's. Who can argue with that???

We rounded the corner to Granny's house and spotted a car that looked just like Kathryn & Luke's. Luke was at home (or so we thought) with Madelyn for the weekend. We were pretty sure it couldn't be their car. I mean, what man would voluntarilly drive 6 hours with a 15 month old, by himself????? I opened the door to the house. It was a wreck. There were blankets everywhere, books and Violet (Madelyn's talking puppy). As it was all sinking in, Luke and Madelyn stepped out from behind the door.

I was simply beside myself. Kathryn was the first to get a hug from the bright eyed baby girl and then she was ALL MINE! She giggled and we hugged... the longest hug ever. I have missed that baby girl so much. I soaked in every moment I could with Madelyn. She was even my snuggle bug two nights in a row.

Luke definitely gets brother-in-law of the year award. Thanks Luke for surprising us with Maddie Kate. I cannot express how much it meant to me (even though I know you had alterior motives since her mommy was here).

Of all my crafting projects

2010-12-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

Scrapbooks are my absolute favorite. Here are pics of a Christmas 2010 Brag Book (6x6) that I made last night. To order, visit www.bitterberryboutique.com.

Gamma

2010-12-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love to watch my nieces play with my mom and they absolutely adore "Gamma." From the time Emily, the first in the family, was born, she has been head over heals in love! She works very, very long days and then spends time with one, two or all three of her granddaughters every chance she gets.

I love the way she lets the girls explore... even if it is messy.

I love that even when she has a million other things to do, she simply plays.

I love that she lets the girls bake and pour an entire container of sprinkles on three cookies.

I love that her house has become their play zone.

I love that she encourages their imagination.

Tonight I skyped with my mom as she was watching Emily and Allison. Emily was decorating a pink foam tree with fun art supplies while Alli was running around with green cookie dough on her hands. At one point, mom had to check on Alli in the bathroom because she heard the water come on full blast. All I could do was laugh.

Yes, the house ends up being a disaster and yes, there are probably new stains in the carpet after tonight. But, if there is one thing that is true, the girls had a blast playing at Gamma's house tonight.

Gamma, you are loved.

Shhhh... don't tell the girls

2010-12-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

but they have surprises in the mail now! I absolutely L.O.V.E. children's books! My mom and dad still have a bookshelf full of books they read to us when we were young. I am so grateful for parents that shared their love of reading. The other night Emily and I were discussing favorite Christmas books and I knew I had to send some to the girls. These are just a few of my favorites! I hope they love them. :)

Olive is for Maddie. You will notice Alli and Emily also have ornaments. I mailed Maddie's the other day with orders I was sending to my sister.

Here is Alli's ornament. I just LOVE my ornaments from over the years with my name and I know they will too.

Sorry this one is turned... blogger is not really a good friend of mine. I thought Alli would love the one about Little Critter. It even comes with a CD.

Emily Claire... my buddy. She is growing so fast.

I adore Fancy Nancy and could not pass up Auntie Claus. Emily LOVES to read! She is always asking what letters spell and is at a point where she really enjoys reading to us. I miss her crawling up in my lap and reading the same book over and over and over again to me. I cannot wait to read these with her at Christmas.

What are some of your favorite children's books?

Sometimes she approves

2010-12-07T16:35:00.001-08:00

Sometimes she doesn't.

Granny approves of outings during the day,

Starbucks coffee & sugar cookies,

hanging with Beth during her lunch break at Barnes & Noble,

chili smothered in cheese,

and "baked" apples* with vanilla ice cream.

However, she does not approve of me calling her Granny. I learned this while walking around at the mall on Friday. I called her Granny in front of another lady on the elevator. As soon as the woman was away, she looked at me and said, "please do not call me Granny again."

My heart sank. I love calling her Granny. When I told her this she decided it would be okay.

It has actually become a joke around the house. If she says something wrong or does something that she thinks will bother me, she calls herself Granny and just giggles.

*For a sweet treat- peel and cut up a Granny Smith apple or two. Put apples in a bowl. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar (or splenda) and microwave for 3 minutes. If you want an extra treat, add ice cream.

Sorry about no spacing. Blogger is not being my friend.

Do Not be Fooled

2010-12-06T18:07:00.001-08:00

This is what my work space typically looks like...

While I would love to tell you that I am tidy when I craft, my friends that have seen my space would be quick to let the truth be known.

Simply UH-mAzing

2010-12-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

Introducing UH-mAzingness in a pan. These apple dumplings were so tasty. Thank you Kristi (Missy) for the yumminess I experienced tonight and might just have for breakfast in the morning. Srum-diddli-umcious!!!!!

Kristi, Thank you for a night of laughing so hard I have a headache, incredible dessert, crafting and wonderful conversation. Love you and so glad to be close for a while!!!

In Business

2010-12-04T17:32:00.001-08:00

After many (MANY) trips to Target and organizational products from Stampin' Up, my work space is complete... until I find something else that sparks my interest. Thank you Grandma for allowing me to take over part of the sunroom in order to create the perfect crafting area.

Inspiration... some pics from my adventure last year in South Africa. Man, I miss each of them so much.

Every scrapbooking girl needs pictures of family, stamp pads galore, the Big Shot, and ribbon (hiding in the corner).

The itso storage line at Target was just what I needed to organize my paper and many other items needed while crafting.

Stamp Central!!! With the new clear mount stamps from Stampin' Up coming in DVD holders, I was able to find this really cute DVD basket (on bottom shelf) for storage.

Because the sunroom is not always the best spot for Grandma to spend time, I was on the lookout for a portable work space. I found this perfect activity table for only $15 at Target (of course) that allows me to work on projects no matter where we are sitting.

The perfect view... Christmas tree & the TV set on the Hallmark Channel. I am not sure what I am going to do when the tree has been packed away and holiday movies are no longer showing 24/7.

While I miss the evenings of crafting with my sister or having Ashleigh (& sometimes Kendall) watching me craft for hours, I am loving time to explore my creativity while spending time with one very special lady.

Check out some of my recent projects at http://www.bitterberryboutique.com/.

Beffy and Rach hit the Town!!!

2010-12-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

My cousin Beth is a couple of years younger than me and such a dear friend. Growing up, we would play for hours... setting up a Barbie city around the house, playing babies, rollerblading and so much more.

As we have grown older, I am so thankful for her friendship. Thankful for someone to talk to when things in life are not going so well. Thankful for times of laughter (literally about nothing at all). Thankful for her love for life and for other people.

Needless to say, in this season of life I am thankful for close proximity. Beth, who is graduating from college two weeks from today and who works ALL the time as a Merchandise Manager at Barnes and Noble, has been such a blessing in my first two and a half weeks.

Whenever she has time off work and no school work to do, she comes to hang out. Last night, her mom & my Aunt Sharon, came to stay with Grandma so that I could have a night out. I often get out during the day with Grandma or to run a quick errand but going out at night is a treat.

Here are just a few moments we captured from a great night out!

This is so fitting for the two of us... I love her personality.

We enjoyed a fabulous dinner at Musashi's Japanese Steakhouse thanks to our amazing (non-Asian) chef Curtis. Too bad he was only 20.

Edamame anyone?

This was my first attempt at actual raw fish... Rainbow Crunch Roll (I think). It was AMAZING!!!!

Modeling the super cute antlers at Michael's. We considered purchasing them.

A little excited about being out on a Friday night.

We eventually returned home and began working on her graduation announcements while enjoying (you guessed it) a Hallmark movie.

Thanks Beffy for a fun night out and thanks Aunt Sharon for hanging with Grandma!

Mr. Godiva

2010-12-03T20:51:00.001-08:00

On our outing to the mall today, Grandma was craving some chocolate so we decided to stop into Godiva. Initially, she said just to get one and that she would split whatever I wanted. I had to inform her that I would NOT be sharing my truffle and that she would have to eat her own.

She decided on the carrot cake truffle and I still could not decide what I wanted. That is where Mr. Godiva entered the picture. He was giving advice on which one I should get. I was not sold on the ones he mentioned and decided to go with the Coconut truffle.

"Oh, that one," responded Mr. Godiva.

As you can imagine my mind was filled with doubt now. How could I get the coconut truffle when this was his response. I was so confused by this point and gave Mr. Godiva a hard time for creating such doubt in my mind. He laughed and very kindly decided to give me the Chocolate Lava Truffle AND the Coconut Truffle.

I was thrilled, of course and quite taken back by his generosity. He then decided to throw in two other pieces of candy just to be nice. Our total is now 5 pieces of candy.

Walking over to the register, I asked him not to announce the total too loudly. Grandma would croak. The grand total: $3.06.

Thank you, Mr. Godiva. You do not know how much your generosity and kindness made my day.

I know what you are thinking now... there are only 3 there. Well, Grandma ate one on the way home and I gave one to William, the crossing guard for the school that is located across the street.

Now... all I need is some coffee.

The Stockings are Hung

2010-12-03T20:38:00.001-08:00

Not sure what will happen...

2010-12-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

I am finally getting better at finding my way around. OKC is pretty easy to navigate if you know how the system works. Today Granny and I were in the mood for Sonic. After a doctor's appt, we stopped by the nearest one. After a few minutes and changing spots once, we realized this Sonic was experiencing technical difficulties.

In order to place our order for Happy Hour, we decided to drive to another Sonic. As we were going, I asked if I should turn or go straight. Her answer, "Turn right here. But I am really not sure what will happen if you do."

I know you are probably wondering why I even keep asking. Well, I do so for a few reasons. 1. Many times she does remember where I need to go. 2. I feel like her remembering and being able to get me places is exciting for her. 3. We have nothing better to do... who cares if we are out driving around??? 4. I did not know what to do so might as well ask. 5. It always ends with us laughing (or me crying... depending on the day).

I am glad Granny does not get car sick. U-turns are our best friend.

By the way... camera is in (that is a LONG story all in itself) but I need a memory card. Luckily tomorrow is Friday and you know what happens then... YEP an hour of walking around my happy place with a Caramel Brulee Latte in my hands. This means I will have a memory card and then let the photo shoots begin! Poor Granny does not know what she has gotten herself into.

I am my father's child... (as if there was any doubt)

2010-12-01T14:49:00.000-08:00

When my mom and dad were first married, my mom made meatloaf for dinner. According to her, he ate the meatloaf, asked for seconds and seemed to enjoy it. After dinner, he kindly noted that she did not ever have to make meatloaf again. So, meatloaf is not something we had much as a child. She has made it a couple of times as we have gotten older but that is about all I remember.

My aunt and grandma sat down the other day and made a menu for dinner. You guessed it: meatloaf was on there. I have never made meatloaf but with the recipe on the back of the seasoning, it was super easy.

As we were eating dinner that night, all I could think was let it end. Grandma seemed to really enjoy it (or was being nice). With only two of us eating, there were leftovers for sure. So, we had it last night. Once again, she loved it. I painfully ate every bite. Oh dear, it was horrible.

I now know exactly how my father felt. I am fine if I never have to eat it again.

Waiting on my camera...

2010-11-27T08:17:00.000-08:00

It is hard to get motivated to post when my camera still has not arrived in the mail. I think it will be here Monday! Well, we are into our second week in the Adventures of Granny & Rachel!

Here are some things that stand out in my mind after this first few days together:

1. I have made approximately 267 U-turns in my first few days of living here. Nevermind that I should know my way around after years of coming here for the summer.

2. Maps give me anxiety.

3. Oversleeping when you are in charge of feeding someone else is not good.

4. After 8 pm... I pour a cup of coffee or diet coke, turn on the Hallmark channel and get into a crafting zone. I have to force myself to go to bed at midnight.

5. Hearing aides are also referred to as earrings. Makes me smile.

6. Target & Starbucks just go together.

7. Being close to cousins has already proved to be a blast!

8. Yes, it is hard. But, YES it is a blessing to be here. God is showing me every minute of every day what it means to love and serve with His strength and not my own.

9. My meal schedule is now breakfast at 8 am, lunch at noon and dinner at 5:30.

10. I have made my bed for the most consecutive days EVER in my life. Granny likes her beds made.

11. I love chatting with my family on Skype and I am glad we are in the same time zone.

I am sure there is so much more but these are the things that stood out in my mind the strongest. Get ready... the camera will be here soon!

Two of a Kind

2010-11-21T18:51:00.000-08:00

What do you get when a directionally challenged person asks a person who has a hard time remembering things (and difficulty seeing) directions to Hobby Lobby?

A 45 minute drive that included lots of lefts and rights, lots of laughing and lots of uncertainty.

Finally after 45 minutes of driving around I called my aunt, but she did not really know where the Hobby Lobby was. I decided to pull over and use my GPS on my phone. I know you are wondering why I did not do that in the first place. Well, it's simple... directionally challenged people have a difficult time with maps (and remember I am one of those people.) I see a map and all I want to do is scream.

It was in that moment that I looked up and spotted the Hobby Lobby sign. We had been saved! Laughter erupted in the car and Grandma was quite thrilled that she had led me there after all.

I ran inside, grabbed the goods and then made the 15 minute drive home.

Looking forward to more adventures in the life of Granny & Rach...

I felt like numbers...

2010-11-20T21:52:00.000-08:00

Every Friday Grandma goes to the beauty shop (aka- a woman who does hair in her garage and has forever). This means that every Friday I have a little over an hour for scheduled "me time."

As I left Grandma, I was not sure what I wanted to do. Should I: 1. Sit at Starbucks and read? 2. Drive around and simply explore? Or 3. Go to Target.

Number 1 sounded good but I have plenty of time to sit around. Number 2 is never fun for the directionally challenged people in the world and I happen to be one of those people. Number 3 could be dangerous due to the fact that I love Target. However, I decided to go there for numerous reasons. I know how to get there and get back to the beauty garage. We needed toilet paper. It offered a chance for me to walk around my happy place. So, off I went.

The Results or Damage... depending on perspective:

1. Super Targets have Starbucks. I did not have time to make it to the Super Target so I went to plain old Target. This plain old Target has Starbucks!!! Wahoo for Caramel Brulee Lattes. Pure yumminess and even better thanks to some "going away" gift cards.

2. Toilet paper. This is neccessary.

3. Amazing storage stuff to help get my Scrapbook/ Craft area ready to go! (I did have to make another trip Saturday morning to get a few more things). Here is a pic of my work in progress. I cannot wait to get busy crafting!

4. My Friday Tradition is born. Starbucks while walking around Target. Who can argue with that?

Changing Seasons

2010-11-18T11:25:00.000-08:00

There is no way to ignore the changing of the seasons. They will come whether we are prepared or not. They will come even when we are wanting to hold on to the previous season just a little bit longer. I have always loved the changing of seasons. Let's be honest, I love change and often crave change.

Life's seasons also have a way of changing, like it or not. I am currently in the process of one of those changing seasons. The stirring of my heart has been happening for quite some time now. I knew God was preparing me for something new and different but was not quite sure what that would be. I began working on teacher recertification and looking at ways to get back into the community.

However, God knew what the change would be and was steadily preparing my heart. In case you have not heard, my grandmother is amazing. She loves Jesus, her family and others. She has reached a stage in her life where living alone is just not possible or safe. Deep within my heart I have always known that taking care of her would be an incredible blessing.

As we began to realize more and more it was time to make this decision, God continued to stir my heart in a way that I could not ignore. After much prayer and conversation with my family, we all agreed on a plan. I would move to Oklahoma City to live with my grandma. I have lots of family here and they have been taking care of her 24/7 while trying to work and care for families. I am honored and blessed to be able to spend this time with my grandma while helping my family.

I know this season will be filled with lots of good times and challenging times. I know that exhaustion will hit. I know we will laugh until we cry or just plain cry. I know that I will miss my family & friends in Tyler.

But there is nothing better than knowing you are right where God wants you, in the season of life that He has planned for you since before you were born and that is where I am today.

For the record...

2010-10-10T20:00:00.003-07:00

I just blogged. That is for you Kathryn Bilberry. I love you!!!

7 Blessings

2010-08-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

I have typed and retyped the first couple of sentences about ten times now. It is so hard to know exactly where to start and what I should write about. Upon arriving home, life has been crazy. School is starting again which does not have the same meaning it did when I was a student and then a teacher. But this year it has been extra special.

Through my job with the Women's Ministry I was blessed to meet a sweet family of 7 right before Christmas. Veronica's story, a single mom of 6, was shared with the Women's Ministry and we immediately knew we had to help. Mavita and I went to Veronica's house and met her children one afternoon and connected immediately. They had no running water, no electricity and would not being having the typical Christmas with presents under the tree. We immediately contacted about 20 people through texting and in a matter of hours, I had $1,400 cash in my hands. I was amazed at the generosity that was shown.

We were able to turn on the water, figure out the problem with the electricity, get some neccessities and allow this young mom to give her children gifts for Christmas. They were thrilled! Thrilled to be able to take baths at their own home, wash clothes, and sit in warmth!

Over the last 9 months, we have come to know this family more and more. Veronica, a victim of domestic violence, is a loving mom that wants the best for her children. We have cried with her, laughed with her, prayed with her, and been right along side her as she struggles everyday to make ends meet.

Her kids have captured my heart in a way that will forever change me. Patricia, 14, has a sweet smile and is quiet most of the time. She just started her freshman year at JT. Jonathan, a 7th grader, is eager to be involved and be around people. After the first time of going to church with us, he was begging to be there anytime the youth was getting together. Nathan, our fourth grader, is definitely the jokester of the family. Pablo, the second grader, seems quiet at first but loves to chat and have fun. Alexa, the 5 year old is the giggler. The minute I walk in the door she is right there giggling. Luna, the one year old is the explorer. She loves to get into things and always has someone paying attention to her.

My life has been changed because of their presence in my life. I realize everyday how blessed I was to have parents that were able to give us simple things like school supplies and clothes. It has made me understand the importance of Jesus meeting the physical needs for the people around him. I have seen the generosity of others exhibited as they help provide for this sweet family.

After a year or longer of being without work, Veronica has started working this week and is loving it. She is an amazing mom and loves children. We have seen this family go from a time of desperation to knowing they will have a roof over their heads and running water longer than they thought. They got to start school with brand new school supplies and Patricia was able to shop for some clothes to start her time in high school.

I look forward to each time I get to see these blessings and love every minute we have together.

Refreshed, Renewed, and Ready for what God has Planned

2010-07-31T12:10:00.000-07:00

My last two weeks have been spent as a co-leader of our team of 19 to Egypt. This is the fourth time in 2 years that I have landed on Egypt soil and I knew this would be a new experience. I was excited about the opportunity to share my love for the Egyptian people and culture, as well as be part of W4 camp.

There is so much to say about this time in Egypt... leading a team was so different than my previous times there, yet such a good challenge. Before leaving, I found myself frustrated with God for "making me" come home to the states, exhausted at trying to process everything, and secretly hoping that He would say, "Okay, now you can go." However, I knew this would not be the case. I know God has me right where He wants me. I know that daily He is revealing more of Himself to me.

The minute I set foot on Egypt soil, my heart was overwhelmed. I was "home" (or at least at my second home). Watching the faces of our team that was there for the first time reminded me of my first time there in November of 2008. There is so much culture to soak in, so much that is different than what we are used to.

Driving to camp, my nerves were out of control. I was dying to see Meesh, Bassem, Engy & Julianna, Kaska & Maged, Michael, Emad, Christine, and so many more. My heart was pounding in my chest. We took the team shopping first and then drove to Wadi.

Wadi is a place that will always be close to my heart. It is not "Egypt." It is more like a resort/ camp in Egypt. This is the place where my journey to South Africa began last year. This is the place where I was challenged spiritually in a way that left me unsure of what I was doing and where I was going. This is the place that I have made lifelong friends, ones that I can sit and talk with for hours on end and still have more to say. Ones that ask the hard questions and desire to see me live the life God has called me to live. Ones that have prayed with me and cried with me. This place is special.

Upon arriving, I learned that Cassie would be there. Cassie is one of the leaders from the school in South Africa. Oh, how I was so excited! I was able to spend time talking with him about the last eight months of being home and all that has happened during that time. We talked about my struggles, my hopes and dreams. That 30 minutes was such a treasure. Cassie prayed for me at the end of our meeting and I left so refreshed and ready for what God is doing in my heart.

There are so many times in my life when I question and wrestle with God about what He is doing. I get frustrated and want to impose my plan upon Him as if He needs help. I question timing and try to force issues sooner. The last eight months have been so much of that. It has been a mixture of pure joy being home with family (especially my 3 beautiful nieces!) and uneasiness as I felt so out of place. Many times I have wanted to pack my bags and head to Egypt.

Through the wrestling, confusion, heartache and joy, there is one thing I know... He is here. God is with me. He is working. He has a plan. He wants me to seek Him with all that I am. I am ready. Ready for His plan, for His timing, for His work.

bite the bullet

2010-07-14T18:22:00.000-07:00

So, I am the type of person that once I have put something off for a couple of days it will just keep happening. I decided today that I just needed to bite the bullet and blog. The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.

Here are some pics from the last couple of weeks. It is too much to write about and I would hate to bore you! There are pics from our INCREDIBLE volunteers getting ready for Girls Nite Out, church with the girls, my mom and grandma, the craft tables at the Arabic Mother/ Daughter weekend and Maddie Kate.

Now, time to finish up some stuff!

Perspective

2010-06-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

With the biggest event in GABC history, life at work and outside of work is stressful to say the least. We are now in the final days of preparation with little details surfacing, last minute to do lists, and tons of emails. It is so easy to get bogged down with the actual event and forget that life is about people. Today as I found my frustration rising due to an ever-growing list of things to do, I received news that a dear friend lost her mom suddenly.

My heart dropped. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes and my throat just would not allow me to talk. I immediately called a couple of Missy's close friends to tell them of the news. I started to think Surely Jim was wrong. There is no way her mother could be dead. Missy is my age. Her mom is my mom's age. This cannot be real. Maybe he heard it wrong. Maybe she was just in the hospital. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Deep down I knew those maybes were just that: maybes. But the truth of it is my sweet friend lost her mother today. It was completely unexpected; not that loss changes when you are expecting it or not. I cannot imagine how she is feeling. I cannot tell her I understand. I cannot offer any words of comfort. Reality is she will never get to talk with her mom again. She won't get to laugh with her, tell her stories, or share life with her.

I spent some time with a friend this afternoon as we made calls and just talked in between. It is so hard to process. It could be any one of us right now. Those words are so hard to write but they are so true. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We are not guaranteed our next breath.

My heart sank even more when I realized I had lost perspective in the last few weeks, months, etc. I began to focus on the tasks and not the people. I walked into my parent's house tonight and everyone was there. The three girls were playing on the kitchen floor. My mom, sister and sister in law were talking while they played. My dad, brother and grandma sat in the living room and watched a baseball game. Luke showed up a few minutes later. They were all there.

I watched my mom and fought back tears. Her love for each one of us and her granddaughters is amazing. She has taught us how to give, how to love, and how to care for others. Emily loves to be her little helper. Allison loves to see her "ma-maw" and gets giddy if you tell her Grandma is coming to see her. Madelyn Kate lights up when she sees her and will not go to anyone else when being held by Grandma.

My mom is my best friend. I call her four or five times a day, if not more. Even during those years of being a crazy teenager, I was the recipient of her unconditional love. She is there for each of us in a way that only a mom can be. Her love for others has taught me so much about life. Her love for us has taught me about the mother I want to be one day. I cannot imagine life without her. I cannot imagine not knowing she is just a phone call away or a short drive over to her house. I cannot imagine not having our crazy laugh fests that tend to happen when you place me, Kathryn and mom in a room together. We can laugh about nothing for hours.

Unfortunately, it often takes difficult situations to teach us the true meaning of love and life. My heart and prayers go out to Missy and her family. As for you and me, I pray that we will call those we love and tell them how much they mean to us. Jesus modeled a life of compassion and care for others. Yes, He understood daily life and to do's but the Gospels are relational, they are about people. He is about people and loving.

1,168 more to go!

2010-06-25T21:09:00.001-07:00

It is official. I am crazy. I always have these amazing ideas (usually involving stamps and crafting) and then find myself overwhelmed by the project at hand. This time I found a super cute decoration for water bottles on a friend's blog and thought it would be BRILLIANT to have these on our water bottles at the upcoming Girls Nite Out. Nevermind that we would need one thousand four hundred twenty-four of them. (I wrote out the number for dramatic affect.)

I have spent the better part of the last two days working on them while sitting with my Granny or watching Maddie. The official count tonight is 256, leaving a grand total of 1,168. Needless to say, if you do not see me for the next week, you can pretty much guarantee I am working on these super cute water bottle decorations. Lucky for me I have the World Cup (Go USA!), College World Series (Let's go TCU!!!) and movies (do not ever rent 500 Days of Summer) to keep me entertained while crafting!

Once they are complete and assembled on the bottles (luckily I have a team helping me with that part of the job), I know they will be wonderful. My mom always says, "Presentation is key!"

A New Favorite in Town

2010-06-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

Following my recent trip to Houston, I now have a major addiction to frozen yogurt and was thrilled to hear that we have a new yogurt place in town. I was picking up the girls for the evening and we have a tradition that when I get them from school we go get ice cream. So, this was the PERFECT time to try The Orange Leaf.

Emily has always loved oreo blizzards so that was the first thing she was asking for! However, she also found a new favorite: vanilla yogurt with oreos and fruity pebbles. It is hard to believe that she will be in Kindergarten this year!

After a couple of times of Ashleigh joining us for ice cream, the girls automatically think she will be coming with us. The minute I picked them up, they started asking about her. Luckily, she was able to come along for the fun! It was so cute to listen to Alli say her name.

I love being an aunt. I love watching them learn new things. I love how Alli screams a high-pitched squeal in excitement when she sees me at her classroom door. I love that Emily still likes to sit on my lap. I love watching them together and imagining what Kathryn and I must have been like at this age.

Alli was so ready for her ice cream that she was eating it before it was weighed. She was definitely entertaining everyone there.

Emily loves taking pictures. I love making faces. This is what happens when you combine the two.

Yes, Alli is sitting on the table. Yes, Ashleigh is spinning the table. This is what makes it so fun that I am not their mommy. I just laughed. A mom would have to tell them to stop. I think I told them once, but Alli was having so much fun.

I love these girls more than I will ever be able to describe in words. I am thankful for every minute I get to spend with them, every giggle I hear, every discovery I watch them discover.

Now that we have a yogurt place, I wonder when Cafe Metry will come to town...

Mama said there'd be days like this...

2010-06-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

I woke up very excited about this morning. I had planned to work from home and cheer on the USA with my family. What I did not plan for was a very high stress game and some unforseen things that are just the nature of any job. So, rather than whine about my day and all of my frustrations, I thought I would share a few of the things I learned.

1. These are two of the most precious people I know. They can make any day a good day; no matter what has happened. We had a great time cheering on the USA this morning against Algeria.

2. If you cannot find the right team jersey to wear, it is okay to wear a different one as long as they do not like the team you are playing. I figured wearing my Egyptian jersey would be perfect considering all of Egypt should have been rooting for the USA and NOT Algeria.

3. From now on computers are not allowed to be open during any major sporting event. With just a few minutes left in the game (and we had paused so we were behind), my sister and brother-in-law both got on their computers and then had HUGE grins. They have been excommunicated from the family and banned from any future matches.

4. When printing business cards, it is HIGHLY CRUCIAL to have someone proof and reproof just to make sure all numbers are correct. It was brought to my attention today that I had flipped two numbers making the number completely wrong. At least I did not order that many. The sad thing is that I have had them over a year.

5. There is a reason that Scripture speaks over and over again about wisdom. I am so grateful for our Women's Minister, my mentor & boss, Linda Lesniewski. Today I sought wise counsel from her numerous times and am so grateful that I did. She allowed me to see the bigger picture and to talk through situations that I needed help resolving. Without seeking wise counsel from her, I would have made a fool of myself in one situation and not known what to do on another. I pray that you have someone in your life that you are able to go to for wisdom.

6. I am completely fine with dancing around the house and acting like a complete fool if it means I get to listen to Maddie Kate giggle.

7. The beauty of it all... tomorrow is a new day.

Chinese Dumplings

2010-06-21T19:17:00.000-07:00

My trip to Houston lasted just a tad longer than I had planned originally. Lucky for me I am an overpacker so I was at least prepared. After going to church with Alex, Ash & Cindy, we enjoyed a wonderful lunch at Chipoltle and a trip to the Bike shop to buy my dad some stuff. Alex had been invited to dinner at a couple's apartment and asked me to join him. While I had planned on spending Father's Day in Tyler this year instead of Egypt, I spent it in Houston with Egyptians and some Chinese friends.

We showed up at Emma's apartment around 4 and were pleasantly surprised to see that WE were all going to cook our meal together. There ended up being 8 of us total and we all joined around the table to roll the Chinese dumplings. We had a blast! I love the idea of us all preparing the food together. It broke the ice and made for lots of laughter. Here is the progression of the meal in pictures!

Alex put the cabbage in a rag and squeeze out all of the water. He was obviously working hard (or he is just a good poser).

The cabbage is added to a bowl that already has some of the other items. I know there was some meat, some ginger, and hmmmmm....

Alberto & Alice were chopping the ginger. They are the sweetest couple!

This is the mixture once it was ready to be stuffed in the dough. I was really unsure of the look at first but I knew it would be tasty.

Emma (0n the right) was our teacher. She started with the "easy" way to roll the dumplings so that we would be able to do it. She definitely laughed a lot as we were learning. I loved her sweet spirit and playfulness as she taught and retaught us how to make them.

And here I am giving it a shot. I did get brave and tried a couple of the harder rolls but for the most part I stuck with the simple way. Alex got pretty good at the whole thing himself.

We forgot to get a group shot so this is as good as it gets!

WOW! We made a TON of dumplings!!!! There were enough for us to eat over 30 each... that did NOT happen.

Alex and Alberto being crAzy!

Once the dumplings are rolled you boil them, add more cold water, boil again, add more water, boil again and I am not sure what else.

Finally, it is time to eat! There were some different sauces to add. Here is Alex trying the first bite. He gave up on the chopsticks. :)

The spread on the table... they just kept coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and coming. They were definitely YUMMY and unlike the typical Chinese food I have ever eaten.

I mastered the chopsticks... I have NEVER been able to use them until now. Of course, I only tried once and then it was back to the plastic spoons.

Dessert

While I absolutely love the stories that are captured through pictures, there is so much that you cannot see and so much that I cannot share at the time. What I can share is this: God is at work in the hearts and lives of each one that was there. Thanks Alex for allowing me to share in the joy of gathering with new friends!!!

Emma has requested that next time they all get together for Alex to teach them how to make Egyptian food. I smiled.

THE Negotiator, Bendy Spoons and a wanna be gangsta

2010-06-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

Our finer moments include...

1. The Negotiator- No, not the movie. Meet Ash. THE Negotiator. Friday, Ash was in the process of buying a car. Here are the things I learned from him. First, have no shame. When I say no shame, I mean NO SHAME... at all. Second, when bargaining, offering a $50 coupon to the ER is acceptable. Third, if that does not work, offer anything else you have lying around your house that you think they may want. Fourth, pulling into a very wealthy gated community with 3 Egyptians, 1 African American, and me will cause the security guard to be suspicious. Therefore, he called the Yang family first. Fifth, you will no longer be a "brother" if you offer them $2,000 below their asking price.

2. Berripop- The MOST amAAAAzing yogurt shop ever. We went twice over the weekend. They even have very masculine bumper stickers, i mean tattoos. This is now Cindy's favorite place to eat her snack and a lighter option than ice cream.
... they have the cutest "bendy" spoons!!!! I think they would be perfect for a party.

3. Alex will never be a gangster. I know, this is very hard to believe. The picture speaks for itself!

4. Swagger Wagons & signs... deep down Ash REALLY wanted a minivan (aka. swagger waggon). However, he ended up with a 2002 Honda Accord and still has his coupon to the ER.

5. I know I am missing something... we have laughed and laughed and laughed!!!!

Egyptians make my Heart Happy!!!

2010-06-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

Hanging out with friends makes my heart happy. Last summer while I was in Egypt, I had the privilege of meeting and spending time with a team from the Houston area (about 3 hours away from my hometown). They are Egyptians that moved to Texas for school and such. After our time there, I said I would have to come down to visit. However, I am really bad about just making a point to go.

Last week Alex came to Tyler for a couple of meetings and we spent about 30 or 45 minutes catching up. It was so nice. Nice to sit and talk with someone from Egypt. Nice to talk with someone that is seeking and serving God with all of his heart. Nice to just chat. The connection I share with people from my time in Egypt and South Africa is something I could never explain in words. There is a connection that goes far beyond just the common friendship. It is as though my heart comes alive when I talk with someone that shares that bond.

His brother Ash has been trying to get me to come down and meet his wife Cindy (she was not with them last summer). After Alex left, I knew I just needed to go for many reasons. One: I have been saying I would come since I returned home. Two: I really wanted to meet and spend time with Cindy. Three: I needed some time away from the hustle and bustle. And the list could go on and on and on and on and on.

So, Thursday afternoon I hit the road and was in their driveway by 615.

I knew the weekend would be fun. However, I never could have expected how great this time has been. We have laughed uncontrollably for reasons to be shared later, shared what God is doing in each of our lives, eaten some amazing food, watched lots of football (the worldwide kind), and I personally have been so encouraged. I love the type of friends that can just sit around and discuss God's moving in our hearts and lives so naturally. I love that we share the common bond of Egypt. More than that, I love the depth of the bond that we share because of Jesus.

Before I left for South Africa, I really felt that I would be spending longer amounts of time in Egypt serving. However, God worked in my heart in a way that I was not ready for or did not want to face while at ALICT. It was there that I knew God was calling me home. My heart honestly was broken, not because I do not like living in the US or did not want to come home to be with family and friends, but because my heart connected with the Egyptian people. They have a love and hospitality that made me come alive. So, to come home and be able to have that connection with people close is so nice. I wish that my words could explain it but they cannot.

I am so grateful for the path that God has placed me on and the path He continues to lead me down. God knows just what our hearts need. He knows who we are better than we will ever know ourselves. He knows that the connection I share with Egyptians is one that is built upon Him. I love that He allowed me to have a part of Egypt here. My life has been so enriched and blessed.

From the minute I walked in the door Thursday evening til now where I am sitting on the couch watching the Brazilian game while they nap, I have felt completely at home. I know why Ash has been begging me to come meet Cindy... she is just precious and loves Jesus... and is going to be a mommy very soon!!! Alex and I spent sometime with another couple that was with the Houston team in Egypt Thursday night and we had such a great time... minus the Celtics losing in the final minutes. The rest of the time has been spent just spending time together. I am sooooooooo thankful for their friendships and presence in my life. Alex, Ash and Cindy... THANK YOU!!!!

For the lighter side of things... wait for the future post... it will have our finer moments!

My prayer is that as you read this post, that you have people that your heart has connected with in a similar way... in a way that can only be explained by the love and bond that we experience in Jesus. If you do not, my prayer is that God would bless you in a way that He has blessed me.

This Time Last Year...

2010-06-15T20:51:00.000-07:00

I had been in Egypt for one week.

I was living in a flat (apartment) on the fourth floor with NO air conditioning.
I had a cat. I hate cats. with a passion.

I missed my family and friends like crazy (and was VERY thankful for Skype).

I had listened to my Bunny Emmy say "I love you Aunt Rachel" approximately 1,327 times.

I was SO grateful for Kristen, a girl from Tennessee, that was also serving with the Sports Team... we are now amazing friends.

I had no idea what the following six months would hold for me or my family.

I had never heard of ALICT.

I had never imagined I would be going to South Africa. ever.

I was not prepared for what God had planned. (are we ever?)

It is hard to believe that I have been home for almost seven months now. The last few days I have been able to talk with a few friends on Skype. It has been so wonderful to reflect on the journey, laugh as we re-live memories, and share what God is doing in our lives now.

The friendships that were formed during my time in Egypt and South Africa are more than just friendships. They are family. These are the people that I spent everyday with while I was away from home. They prayed for my sister as she was put on bed rest and then for Madelyn as she fought to breath the first couple of weeks of her life. We shared so much together and will forever remain connected because of the bond of Christ.

I am grateful for the journey and look forward to what God is doing each and every day through their lives. To say that God is good seems like such an understatement. Thankfully, His definition of good makes my definition of good look awful.

Only 3 more to go

2010-06-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

The only reason I am writing a blog right now is because I am avoiding writing devotions for Wednesday through Friday. Our Women's Ministry has a website with daily devotions (http://encouraging.com/). I am the one that uploads the devotions each week. I am also on the writing rotation. Saturday morning I realized that no one had emailed their devotions to me. I checked the schedule to see who should be sending them in via email.

Dang it.

It was me.

Hmmm... Saturday I was not feeling so great and could not think straight so I did not write. Sunday during the day I hung out with college students most of the afternoon. Sunday evening I was able to write one devotion. Yes, one out of five.

That means Monday was covered.

Dang it.

Tuesday is tomorrow.

After about an hour with my computer and Bible, Tuesday was written. Now, I just need 3 more. I can do this. I just need to get off blogger.

Day of Caring

2010-06-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

Friday, June 11 marked the 17th Annual United Way Day of Caring in East Texas. I could not believe this was the first time I had ever heard of this service project. Hundreds of volunteers (around 470 this year... up from 340 last year) gathered together to complete various work projects at 39 non-profit organizations around Tyler. Kathryn heard about the Day of Caring on the news and I immediately new this was something I wanted to participate in. After returning home from South Africa, I realized how little impact I was making in my own community. Sure I do plenty of things within the church walls, but rarely get outside of the church to help. My heart deeply desires to be in the community with the people. So, I put out a notice on facebook and gathered a team to be part of this day of service. After reviewing the list of projects, I came across the "Sisters in Christ" organization. Because I work for the Women's Ministry I have heard of this organization, but had never been there to learn about the people and the project. I never could have imagined what our day would hold.
Meet Michelle, the backbone of the organization. 8 years ago she had a dream. She operated out of her home for four years and then four years ago moved into a building. They have just recently moved into a larger building that will allow for more ministry to take place. Once you meet her, you will leave inspired. Inspired to dream big. Inspired to help. Inspired to make a difference and trust God to provide along the way. "Sisters in Christ" helps women who have fallen victim to domestic abuse, women who have been incarcerated, and so many more. They offer clothing, a food pantry, and will soon have a computer lab. Our team spent the day helping Michelle and her team get organized. We unpacked boxes of donations, set up a room for men's clothing, stocked the food pantry, cleaning, and moving things into the hall for Salvation Army to pick up. However, it is not the work that left a lasting impact on my heart but the stories I heard throughout the day and new memories that will forever be part of my life.
Shortly after I posted the plea on facebook for help, Lindsey said she was ready to help. Many of you know Lindsey and her journey (http://pleasant-drive.blogspot.com/) the past few years with breast cancer... twice. She has impacted more people than we will ever know by her blog that offers encouragement, inspiration, challenge, and transparency. She has shared her journey with us all through the tears, laughter, fear, sickness, and changes in lifestyle. Yet, with all that she has been through and still battles daily, she chose to give an entire day to come help. Lindsey, thank you for showing us that no matter what you face in life, serving others is what we are called to do. I love you dearly and LOVED our time together Friday.

Then there is Melondy, a beautiful woman whose joy in life radiated from within. She immediately connected with our group and became a friend for life!
Whitley, one of the college students at GABC, who loves Jesus and loves to serve. To see such a desire to serve at her age makes my heart happy.

Cody's new amigo... oh gosh... to listen to these two try to understand each other was hilarious. They had a great time together. One thing is for sure... the love of Jesus is not stopped by languages.

To say that our team had a great day is an understatement. There is nothing that compares to building new friendships, strengthening old ones, and serving others. We will forever have inside jokes to share, memories of trying on different clothes we found, and the unity that comes when you simply get outside of yourself and help someone else. Thank you United Way for such a great day!!!!

I am already looking forward to next year, but thankful that I do not have to wait until then to serve others and show care.

Round 2

2010-06-10T17:45:00.000-07:00

My sister, Kathryn, has been bugging me for months to start blogging again (or for real this time). While deep down I really wanted to, I know myself. I know how this blogging gig went last time. I would write once and then let it sit for a month or two or three. The last time I blogged was right after Valentine's Day of 2009... over a year!

We got a good laugh out of my last post. I was glad Kathryn and Luke were due in October because I would be home in August from Egypt. For those of you that know me, you know that did not happen. I ended up going to South Africa for 3 months for the African Leadership Institute for Community Transformation and then back to Egypt for one more month. It was an adventure to say the least.

So, here we go again. I make no promises. I am not one of those that has to blog everyday (obviously). I am the type of person that finds myself in the middle of many things... my siblings, stamping, college ministry, hanging with friends, and whatever else might be going on in my world at the time which means other things often fall to the wayside. I will try my best.

Considering I just got my Stampin Up 2010-2011 catalog (available to everyone July 1) in the mail today, I could be a little preoccupied browsing the pages, making wish lists, and dreaming of all the projects to come. It is AmAzing!!!!

Round 2 of my blogging has begun... let's see how long it lasts!

2009-02-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

There is something so special about being an aunt. For those of you that have nieces and/ or nephews, you know exactly what I am talking about. The joy of watching your brother or sister become a parent. Watching the little ones discover new things every day! Enjoying play time or dance parties. Making valentines for Emily's party. And so much more! Last Thursday night as I was taking Emily home, she wanted to listen to the song about Jesus' eyes... (Brandon Heath's song "Give Me Your Eyes"). This is one of her favorites on the ipod and we usually listen to it over and over and over again. As we drove, I listened to her sing about wanting to see the world through the eyes of Jesus. She knows every word to the song. My prayer is that as she grows, this will be her desire... to seek the Lord and to share Him with others.

This Valentine's day will be one I will never forget! Not because my non-existent man took me to a fancy dinner or brought me flowers, but because my little sister, Kathryn and her husband, Luke, announced that they are prego! Such joy! We were all sitting in the living room as Emily opened a present from them... a shirt that said "Future Cousin." My first thought was: Dang it! I have already booked my flight to Egypt. Then Kathryn made me feel better when she told us she is due in October. Whew! I will be home in August. We are all very excited about this new little one joining the family. Some of my favorite childhood memories are from playing with my cousins. Family is such a blessing!

So... for now... Aunt Rachel is going to soak up all the time I can with Emmy and Alli before June and will be browsing baby departments for Baby Bilberry... I am praying for a boy or twins! haha!

2009-02-13T13:23:00.000-08:00

Kay Warren (The Next Big Idea Conference)I had the privilege and honor to sit and listen to Kay Warren share her passion about being a true disciple of Jesus Christ. As I am preparing to go to Egypt, her words pricked my heart, stirred my soul, and will forever remain in my mind. She began by talking about the so-called crowd that followed Jesus. They showed up wherever He was, wanting to be healed, hoping to get to touch His garment, and desperately seeking help from whatever was happening in their lives. Each of these people came to Jesus for what Jesus had to offer. Each of them sought Jesus in a time of crisis. But after the healing came and they were set free, they simply disappeared in the crowd. Then, there were His disciples. These are the ones that followed no matter where Jesus went, no matter what was happening in life, and no matter what was on the other side of the mountain. Meals were shared, tears were shed, and life was lived. These were not just people in the crowd, these were His family.

Luke 9:23 states that “If anyone wishes to come after Me (Jesus), he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

Jesus laid out 3 requirements to be a disciple and these are some of my notes from Kay’s talk on this beautiful Wednesday morning as God met me there and spoke straight to my heart.

1. Deny Yourself-
• This means saying no to my comfort, to my “rights” as an American, to my pleasures day to day, to control of what comes next, to my dream of being a wife and mother, to ME and YES to GOD and GOD alone.
• We say we will go wherever God leads, and then we add our own but…I will go here… but… don’t make me leave this behindI will follow… but… please keep me close to my familyI am ready to serve… but… only if it is in a gorgeous placeI will go… but… only on my terms and conditions
• We must be ready to say “Lord, I will go wherever You lead me and I know that You can be trusted.”
• Whatever God asks, I pray my answer will always be YES with no if’s, and’s or but’s.

2. Take up my Cross
• The cross existed for one reason only during the time of Jesus and that was to die upon
• Jesus died for me and I must die (to self and the world) for him
• We often say this illness is my cross to bear or this person in my life is my cross… FALSE
• What is it that so disturbs me that I cannot live with it another second? What is it that I will die trying to solve?
• I get disturbed about everyday things… parking spots… food being cold… not getting my way… but am I disturbed by poverty, dying people, AIDS, orphans, the lost? Am I ready to die in pursuit of solving these problems and spreading the name of Jesus to those that do not know HIM?

3. Follow Me
• The way I spend my time, money, energy, resources reflects what I follow.
• Do these things reflect Jesus in my life or me?
• Will I allow God to gloriously ruin me for the Kingdom or for the world to simply ruin me?

Kay ended with a powerful story about a couple that shared the love of Christ with prostitutes. They would walk the streets and simply say God loves you and we love you. Each day as they walked, one woman would stand in disbelief. But as they continued coming back and eventually inviting the women to their home for dinner, the woman realized that these people do love them. They set the table for women that were selling their bodies to the lusts and sin of the world and made the invisible God visible. Because they set the table, this woman accepted Christ.

Who are you setting the table for? Our task is to make the invisible God visible so that those around us will know His love not only by our words but by the way we live.

Not too good at this...

2009-02-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that I am not very good at updating and keeping a blog. What gave it away? Well, 2 things. 1. I could not remember my password and 2. My last entry was in June of 2008. Either nothing has happened since then or I am just the world's worst blogger! I think it is more of the 2nd part.

To catch you up a little bit. September 18, 2008 my bro and sis-in-law had another beautiful baby girl, Allison Paige Bitter. Emily has done beautifully as a big sister and is so much fun to watch as she is the hovercraft! In October I traveled to Belize to help with a conference for the Light of the Valley church and was so blessed by my time with the women. Belize is gorgeous... even during a monsoon.

Finally, to top off 2008, I joined a team of 7 from my church and our adopted member from Cali to Egypt. We traveled there to help with a festival that was taking place at Wadi Sports Camp. My life will never be the same. God touched my heart in a way that I had never experienced and my love for the Egyptians and Muslims has impacted my world in a huge way. I will be posting a letter I wrote after I returned home from my trip. I know it is a little long, but it will explain my growing passion for this place.

2009 started with a bang... or a stomach virus! Yuck! But, thankfully things are rolling now. Today we booked my flight to Egypt. I will be returning to work with the Sports Ministry on June 8 and will stay until August 17. My first reaction is utter fear. I have NO IDEA what God has on the other side of this mountain and all I know is that my time there will be the most amazing experience ever and the most difficult. I know that God has called me to this and I know He can be trusted.

My purpose in starting the blog again is to keep you posted on what God is teaching me through this time and where this journey leads. I hope you will join me!

Been a while

2008-06-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

Wow... life goes by pretty quickly. It has been a while since I have written and so much has happened. To bring you up to speed... my dad is in heart failure and battling that daily. God is good in the midst of it all because He is bringing us closer than ever. I had the privilege of chairing the 2008 Children's Miracle Network Celebration which was indescribable. It is such a blessing to raise money for our children right here in East Texas.

I just returned from my second trip to Guatemala. Once again, as I flew home, I left a piece of my heart there. I cannot help but wonder when my next trip there will be. It is definitely my home away from home. I coordinated a team of 20 from across Guate and the States to put on a camp for missionary kids. The children there are amazing! I fell in love with each one and will carry them with me daily. The theme was IGNITE and our key verse was Hebrews 12:29- for our God is a consuming fire. I realized that at times I say He is, but really He is not. I find myself preoccupied with the world around me and not on the Lord. He taught me a lot about my fears this week and fears that I refuse to turn over to HIM completely. I am saddened as I return to be comfortable again. My prayer is that I do not sink back into it. My prayer is that I remember the words, cries and laughs of the kids there. I cannot write enough to really tell you what this trip meant for me. My heart is changed. My heart is sad. My heart wants to go home but I know God has me here for at least another year. More later...

A Slave's Choice

2008-04-29T12:40:00.000-07:00

Exodus 21:1-6 discusses the time after a slave has served for 6 years. At this time, the master gives the slave the choice to go as a free man or to remain in the master's house. Verse 5 states: But if the slave plainly says, 'I love my master, my wife and my children; I will not go out as a free man.' As I studied the life of a bondservant and researched the origin of this term, this passage of scripture lead me to the answer.

You see, the slave was given a choice just as we are given a choice in who we serve. He could go out as a free man and lead his own life, a life without a master, or choose to be under the headship of his master. We are given that same choice in our lives. We can choose to be our own master or recognize the love our Master has for us and choose a life bound to Christ. The verse specifically says that out of love the slave chose to stay. I wonder if the world truly understood the love of God, how many would choose to be under His Headship instead of leading their own way. We choose our Master because of the Love we witness from Him in our lives and the lives of others. His Love was expressed by the death of His Son on a cross, the peace that we experience in the midst of storms, His provision when we seem like ends will not meet, His guidance when we feel as though we are walking blindly and the list goes on...

Who will you choose? Will you choose to surrender your freedom and serve God, our Master or will you choose life apart from Him? Oh, friend, I pray you choose Him. Life with our Master is so much better than attempting to direct our own steps.

Been a while!

2008-04-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been so long since I posted, that I forgot my password!!!! Not a good sign. I apologize for not writing and have missed my time here. It has been a whirlwind of a month and trust in God seems like the only thing I can hold on to. Today's post will be a little different than most... just sharing what is happening in my life.

I was considering returning to teaching and then felt like God was saying that is your plan, Not Mine. The job I was waiting on was filled and it felt as though God was slamming the door in my face. I was filled with confusion, sadness, fear and relief all at the same time. So, on to the next plan.

I began searching jobs elsewhere and really felt no peace at all in my heart. I have DESPERATELY wanted to move away from Tyler and it seems that God is always saying, not Now My Child, Not now. Frustrating... I just want some ADVENTURE!!!

More has happened... but the biggest is that my Dad has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure once again (he was sick with this 20 years ago). Immediately I was grateful that God was keeping me here to be close to home. The last few days have been full of tears, laughter and prayers. God is good. I must trust in Him. My dad is doing okay and we will roll with the punches. I will write more soon (I PROMISE!!!) I have been studying about Peace for a talk on Thursday and it could not have come at a better time. Right now, in the midst of the storm, HIS PEACE is all we have.

Love you all!!!

Forgive

2008-03-18T12:37:00.001-07:00

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

More than likely, you have experienced some type of hurt recently that has been hard to release. Last night I was reminded of a hurt in my life that I just have not been able to completely turn over to God. I say that I have forgiven this person, but at times I am reminded of the hurt and pain and everything comes back. As it came to mind last night, so did this verse.

I am called to forgive not because this person asked for forgiveness or because they deserve it, but because God forgave me. It just so happens that a devotion I read this morning was about hurt and how we deal with it. The author wrote that "it takes two to cause conflict and only one to forgive." My heart is lighter as I learn to forgive those who have wronged my, ask forgiveness when I have wronged someone else, and accept God's forgiveness for the sin in my life.

I invite you to do the same today, even if the person who hurt you has not recognized what he or she has done in your life. I also invite you to seek those you have wronged and ask forgiveness. This life is about love and if we are walking in anger, hurt and bitterness, love will not shine through. His Love allowed us to be forgiven through Jesus Christ.

One

2008-03-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:4-6

The word one is used here 7 times in 3 verses. If you read the first three verses of Ephesians chapter 4, Paul is challenging the people of the church to walk in unity and love. As humans, we seem to love divisions. We create new groups, sections or committees for everything that comes our way. The question I ask myself is: "why?" Why do we divide ourselves, as believers, when throughout Scripture we are called to forget the dividing lines and walk in unity?

What would happen to the church if we decided to unite together as denominations and begin spreading the love of Christ as one? What would happen if we focused on the fact that we worship One Lord, One God, One Father instead of worrying about all of the little distinctions between Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist and the others? What would happen if we told people we were simply followers of Jesus Christ, His disciples, instead of saying I am Southern Baptist or I am Lutheran?

We are called to walk in Unity. We are called to walk as One Body. We are called to preserve the Unity of the Spirit (vs. 3).

Remember

2008-03-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

Remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of the promise, having no hope and without God in the world. Ephesians 2:12

I do not know about you but I never want to lose sight of the emptiness I experienced before I became a follower of Jesus Christ. When I forget who I was, I forget the incredible power of His Saving Grace. I forget that I once walked through each day with no purpose, no hope and no peace. I forget that in a world of darkness, violence, hatred, and sin, that God still reigns.

While I do not think this verse is saying to dwell on our past and hold on to everything we once believed, I do think it is saying to simply remember. When we remember who we once were without Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we remember what it is like to be lost in this world.

Most of us are surrounded by people who have not experienced the extravagant grace of Jesus Christ. They walk through each day with a lack of purpose, a lack of hope and a lack of peace just like each of us once did. If we forget the power of God in our life, it is easy to forget what it is like for them. As we remember, we are able to relate to those around us that are missing out on the greatest relationship ever. As we remember, we are able to relate the change in our lives to them in a way that is meaningful.

I pray that you and I always remember who we once were, give God the praise and thanks for saving us, and share new life with those around us.

Enlightened

2008-03-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints. Ephesians 1:17-18

What a beautiful prayer! Paul’s prayer for his church family and friends is for wisdom and that their hearts would be enlightened. When I think about why he chose to say hearts here, it is because our heart is the center of our existence. Technically speaking our heart keeps us alive and if our heart is in bad shape, so are we. Spiritually and emotionally speaking we tend to use our heart as the core of all of our thoughts and feelings. Paul is praying that the very core of their lives would be enlightened by God. If our heart knows God and is full of His revelation, knowledge and love then our lives will radiate that same light. My prayer for you today is that you are enlightened by God at the very core of your existence and that will shine in your life! Know that I am praying for you just as Paul prayed for His family and friends!

An Apostle

2008-03-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God… Ephesians 1:1 (NASB)

Paul began his letter to the church in Ephesus by recognizing who he is in relation to God. He could have begun by saying by simply addressing the church, but he knew that everything in his life goes back to God. He introduced himself as an apostle and gave credit to God by saying it is by His will.

I do not know about you but when I am greeting someone new or introducing myself, I do not usually say: “I am Rachel, an apostle of Jesus Christ.” I usually tell them my name and then when asked what I do for a living, my response is church work.

I know you are probably thinking this is not really a big deal or you are asking yourself why I am focusing on this verse. This verse has more importance in our lives than we recognize. His introduction shows that God is Paul’s number one. His introduction tells the church he is writing that he is writing because God is in his life. Think about how much that means to those he is speaking to. They know that Paul cares about them because of Christ is in his life.

I love to read Paul’s letters because I can feel his passion as I am reading and I know that Christ is his number one. If I am being honest with myself, I would not be able to say this. I would not want to introduce myself as “Rachel, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God,” because my life does not always show this. I know that Paul made mistakes after he gave his life over to the Lord but overall his life and his ministry pointed to God.

I want people to look at me and read my writings and say the same things I say about Paul. I want my life to show that I am an apostle of Jesus not just someone that works at the church during the week. I want everything I do to show others who I am following and that I am following God.

I wonder how different my walk would be if I recognized that I am an apostle of Christ and that it is only by the will of God. I wonder how different it would be if I knew in my heart that my purpose is God and church work is just what I am doing right now. Everything in our lives, everything we do should be second to following Jesus Christ.

created gods

2008-03-05T12:03:00.001-08:00

As we journeyed down the streets of Guatemala, the slow pace drew us in step by step. Lucious greenery, cool breezes, bright colors, all showing the beauty of the culture and the people. However, we encounter numerous gods that the people have created to worship and my heart is saddened for many reasons. These statues are incredibly ugly in our standards but beautiful in theirs. First of all, they do not know the One True God but have to create their own to offer sacrifices. Second, as I take in the surroundings of these images, light is shed on the idols and gods I have created in my own life. None of the statues we encountered showed beauty, yet were ugly and distateful in our eyes. My heart broke as I realized I have created these idols in my life that I look at as beautiful but God sees just as I saw the created gods in Guatemala. You see, anything we worship other than God is ugly in His eyes. I have found that I idolize my shopping and having material items. My focus shifted from God in my life to what can I buy next. Any idol in our lives, anything we have created to worship is trash in light of our Lord.

Boldness

2008-02-27T12:08:00.001-08:00

I have to be honest with you in saying that over the past year, I have not had a consistent quiet time. I was speaking at a conference this past weekend to women about loving themselves for who God created them to be and finding their confidence in Him. However, if I were truly honest I would say that a lot of the times I seek confidence elsewhere.

Ringing in the new year, I decided I was going to ring in a brand new me. I cut and dyed my hair, bought a new car, joined the gym and got a makeover (yes, the Clinique counter was grateful!). Only I forgot that there are some things I wanted to go back to. Last night as I was reading through Ephesians and chapter 3 really hit home. This letter is one that I read as a new believer and is familiar Scripture that I love returning to from time to time.

Ephesians 3:11-12 says "This was in accordance with the eternal purpose which He carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him." Wow... the words are so familiar yet so powerful. It seems so easy to say that our confidence is only in Jesus Christ, but if you look closely it does not show in my life. Some of you are probably thinking I am being too hard on myself, but I am just being real with you and with myself.

So much of my time I am seeking to find that boost of confidence in other things... work, friends, family, successes, appearance, material possessions (i LOVE to shop!) instead of spending each day in pursuit of God. I am not saying that those things in life are bad, but this verse does not say our confidence is from the world around us. It says that we have that only through our faith in Jesus.

As I prepare for bed tonight, my heart is heavy and light all at the same time. Heavy because I am saddened that I seek the world over my GOD and light because I know that I am forgiven. I want to wake up tomorrow in pursuit of Him. I want to wake up tomorrow and spend time in prayer with the Lord instead of immediately worrying about what I am going to where and all that other junk. I want to wake up tomorrow and remember that without my faith in Jesus Christ, I would still be that insecure girl that panics about everything and is terrified to speak in front of people.

I miss being completely head over heels in Love with God and I miss spending each day in conversation with Him. That is my goal for tomorrow.