Starving

Recently Grandma & I began reading through Paul: 90 Days on His Journey of Faith by Beth Moore. My first month here was a struggle. A struggle being away from my immediate family. A struggle being so isolated from the world outside. A struggle to call and talk to people. A struggle to remain positive. All of this came from my struggle to read Scripture.

I have no good explanation. I simply could not open my Bible, could not write in my journal and could not talk to people that would recognize I was not spending time with my Savior each day. I knew Grandma would love to have me read to her but selfishly, I simply could not bring myself to do it.

I was starving for His Word, starving for His power, starving for HIM.

Time with my sister just after Christmas was refreshing and encouraging. She was a major support as I cried tears of frustration and tears of exhaustion. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed community.

Do not misread this... I do love my time with my Grandma and will forever cherish our times of riding around town (just to get out of the house), sitting together in church, enjoying meals together and so much more. But, it has been an adjustment.

After Kathryn returned home, I knew that I had to make changes. There will always be things outside of my control, but it was time I changed what I could change and move forward from there. A friend kept asking what I was reading and I had no answer. Deep within my heart, I wanted to approach His word, but was holding back.

Then during a conversation with Aunt Nancy, she asked how things were going and if Granny and I were reading devotions together. All I could say, No. (Thank you Aunt Nancy for asking.)

We hung up the phone and I was sick of avoiding the thing that I missed so much. I opened Beth Moore's book, grabbed my Bible and sat down with Grandma. We read the suggested Scripture, thought about the questions and read through the thoughts of that day. Immediately, I felt refreshed, filled, no longer starving.

We have continued reading, continued sharing, and because of this, have enjoyed conversations I would have never shared with this woman that has impacted my life so much. One of the questions the other day was about who had impacted your life. She asked who I would say and with a heart full of joy, I was able to share how much her faith has impacted me over the years.

I know God will richly bless our time with Him, our time together as we continue to approach His Word with humble hearts.